SAINT HEROD
Political story with known characters.
Tired of being thought of as a baby eater, king Herod converts to
religion. Perched on a golden palanquin held up by twelve slaves, he goes to
the Crib of Bethlehem to adore the Infant God. The stench of the place is
nauseating and nearly suffocates him. He tears his shirt as a mark of disgust
and cries out with a slight cough: ««By the beard of Abraham, what a shame! And
what a way of welcoming God on Earth!». He kicks out the shepherds, the sheep
and other creatures, takes the holy family under his wing, sets the stable on
fire and goes back to Jerusalem.
He himself carries the infant Jesus in his arms, tickles
him, cradles him and becomes so fond of the kid that it did not take time
before he adopted him as a son and make him heir to his throne. Joseph, like his famous ancestor carrying
the same name, is appointed prime minister of the kingdom, and Mary, as First
Lady, is given the sweet task of dispensing privileges, benefits, small gifts
and other liberalities to the most faithful friends of the Crown. The national
conscience, scrupulously oriented by the antennae of the almighty Minister of
the Interior, sings day and night the praises of his king.
And so, that is the way that happy years go by in
Herod’s kingdom. Still, the skies begin to become overcast on the day when,
after becoming an adult, Jesus sets out on touring the country. While at the
royal palace the cream of society has an easy time, Jesus, in the interior
regions, discovers a population overburden with outrageous taxes and terrorized
by the various Temple policemen, Romans and those of Herod. He is deeply moved,
devastated and scandalized. He hurries back home and rushes to meet Herod and
get things off his chest.
- I always believed that you were a good person, but you’re a
monster! You’re a treacherous man, a liar, a hypocrite, an unfair, cruel and
vicious individual!
- Me, a vicious man? answers back the king
with tears in his eyes. You are forgetting that the bad man that I am was the
one to bring you out of your dung heap. The unfair one here is you. Listen to
me carefully. In my kingdom, we respect God’s will. It is God who created the
differences. To some, he gave talents, to others, none; that is why we find
ourselves with rich people and poor people, with well-educated people and
ignorant people. It devolves therefore
on the first to think and to command, and to the others to obey and work. This
is the order that God, in his unfathomable wisdom, has established for all men
on earth. Delinquents and rebels are to
be punished as it should be in an exemplary way.
- What things some people come out with! protested
Jesus bursting out with indignation…Listen to John the Baptist, read Moses and
the Prophets! The will of God is quite the reverse of what you are saying. As
far back as the first lines of the Bible, we do not see God allotting land to
some individuals rather than to some others. He allots it to all human beings
so that every man and every woman may live with decency. The more you receive,
the more you must give; the greatest you are, the more you have to take care of
the little ones. God created us BROTHERS and SISTERS, and EQUAL. The Law, the
Prophets, the whole Bible come down to that! Do not look for the will of God
elsewhere. Neither you nor anyone has the right to change one iota in it!
Even His Excellency Caiaphas, in spite of his big
mouth, is incapable of pacifying Jesus. He goes to open his mouth when Jesus, who
knows already by heart the sermon that awaits him, puts his fingers in his ears
so as not to hear it, but His Excellency,
nevertheless, will try his hand in delivering once again to Jesus the same
speech that he had already delivered to him for, at least, one million times…
- Ah, my child! Beware of those ideas that travel through the world in these
times of tragedy. The Baptist is not a bad person, but still he is an
excessively a populist and an alarmist. He should shut up. The things he
preaches, while abusing with our patience, are to be taken with a pinch of salt.
You see, the era of the prophets is over. The world has changed. Today we have
the Roman Empire on our back; a terrifying power! One little spark and it is a
blaze. Never in our history have we have felt so much need to remain calm. It
is not by criticising the king, the private property, the social differences
and the Arm Forces that we will improve things. Think about it a little. Who
produces wealth and assures the security in this country: the poor or the rich?
Do you think that it is by cutting the means of subsistence of the rich that we
will feed the poor and reinforce our borders? The poor do not know a thing
about business. We will not all the same put into their hands our national
wealth, our security and our future. Besides, whatever we do for them, it’s a
waste of time; Scripture says it well: « Poor people will always exist».
Jesus does not interrupt the
High Priest. In the twilight, he seems to catch a glimpse of God signaling to
him to keep cool, because, some day, like all the dinosaurs, Caiaphas will
disappear. So, Jesus bites his tongue and lets the pontiff the opportunity to carry
on with his speech on his favorites themes:
- The spirit of rebellion is the
work of the Devil.
- Violence is only used to
increase violence.
- It is true, the poor are hungry; yet, what they need the most
is not bread, but words of peace, love and consolation. And for God’s sake, let
them work! Work is the natural remedy to vices and bizarre ideas. Actually,
there is a dire shortage of labors in the farms, but the poor snub that kind of
work. They are simply lazy bastards!
- We must not let ourselves be moved by their moaning; they
are never satisfied, anyway. Yet, they are richer than they think, and at times
happier. Sometimes, the High Priest himself envies them.
- As for the Bible and the prophets, there also, prudence! The Bible is
full of utopian ideas of sweet dreamers and of apocalypses created by
extremists. Noxious opium if ever there was one! The reference point so as to
not get lost with the Bible is not so much the truth as such, because very
often the truth kills; it is rather: order and peace in the community. « Unity! », my dear, here is the final
word of the Bible. But then, only a strong authority can make unity with a
unruly people who has the tendency to break up and lose its way. And so, to
understand the Bible well and place oneself in relation to God’s will, the key
is submission to the authority. And to submit to the authority is to obey God.
- And then, what matters most at
the end, it is not that change of structures but a change of hearts…
- And bla bla bla…
Jesus is speechless. He has a
strong desire to tell Caiaphas that the counsels are those of a selfish and coward
heart which places his interests and those of his royal stooge light years
above the interests of the people… But what’s the use? Caiaphas and
Herod are so deeply convinced in their minds that their way of thinking is
dictated to them by God himself.
A few moments after that final attempt for brain
washing, Jesus goes back once again and visits the two stooges in total
simplicity. He gives them back the honor insignia that they had lavished on him
and tells them: « Take back these chains which belong to you. All the
things you have given me, I leave them behind. I won’t stay one second more in
the rottenness of this palace! I do prefer to go back to my stable instead!
». With these words, he makes off.
The rest of the story is known. Jesus sinks into the sufferings and into the dreams of those who are
left out of the society. He realizes among them things that are simply spectacular
and very moving. His popularity attains the pinnacle of fame. Those big landlords, the ultra right-minded,
the super devout, and the authorities in charge of the nation are really mad at
him. The religious fundamentalists and the armed radicals, who cannot recover
him for their sectarian cliques, hate his guts. So much so that only after two
or three years later, Jesus is found hanging on a cross. Caiaphas and Herod are there.
Herod sighs:
- What a pity! I had told him ahead of time that all this would end badly!
Caiaphas sighs also :
- What a shame, really! A young man with a so promising future!
- Whom I brought out from
nothingness…, adds Herod while repressing a tear. Alas, he had a rebellious
side which led him to regrettable excesses. We spoiled him too much. Nowadays, the youth is like that…It is so sad!
- Cheer up, my brother, whispered the Sovereign
pontiff while blessing his king. Let us be
magnanimous. Let us forgive that poor boy who let himself be
bewitched and who played with fire. He thought he was doing the right thing,
but instead of uniting the people, he divided it much more. Only time will be
able to erase the damages he has caused. Still, let us remember the nice things
that, in his moments of lucidity, this dear Jesus preached about love. Those
ideas, I share them with him 100%, because that is exactly what myself has been
preaching without cease all the time: love, reconciliation, peace …
On that day, at the foot of the cross, the good
king Herod and Caiaphas forgive Jesus for his numerous slips-up, and swear to
love one another as brothers more than ever.
The end
Kindly
translated from the French by Jacques BourdageS
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